fish fingers and mustard page 4

‘Maybe it was something you ate?’ 

Or, more like everything you ate. Oh wait a minute, what’s he trying to say now...? 

‘Get me back... to... the TARDIS...’ 

‘I don’t think so, do you?’ 

Woah. Check out the eyes again. I think he’s actually trying to hypnotise me. How sweet is that? Shame he’s having a coughing fit at the same time, but still... 

‘I am the m... ustard... and you will... o... bugger...’ 

And back down he goes. 

Funny, but I never thought I’d be the kind of girl who actually does this. I don’t mean the killing the Doctor bit, I always knew I’d do that. Though, if he’d actually bothered to turn up sooner I could’ve probably been swayed... But no, I mean the gloating bit; the kind of speech that every bad guy makes in movies, just before the hero gets back up. I always swore I’d never do that, that I’d just be classy. Yet here I am, about to get with the preachy. 

Just goes to show; you can take the girl out of the fanatical religious order... 

‘Oh, it wasn’t just the mustard. It was all of it: a composite poison. Amazing what a girl can rustle up in a pinch. Every part completely undetectable, until the final piece drops down the hatch, then... Boom. So guess what, Doctor? You didn’t finish off the fruitcake. The fruitcake finished you.’ 

Wait, that sounds like I’m the fruitcake. 

See, forget the toxicology lessons. This is the kind of stuff Madame K should’ve been teaching me; how to give a monologue without sounding deranged. 

Honestly, you spend every day of your life fixating on killing one man, last thing you want to do when you get the chance is make him think you’re some kind of lunatic. 

Nothing much I can do about it now though. The moment’s passed. 

And... 

Yep. 

So has the Doctor. 

No breathing, no hearts beats, no nothing. 

The Doctor’s dead. 

wow 

The Doctor’s properly dead. 

And I killed him... 

How cool is that! 

Okay, okay. Relax, time to celebrate later. Right now let’s stay professional. 

Like the way I just killed the Doctor! 

Careful Pond, you almost broke into a snoopy dance there. 

Got it out of your system? Good. ‘Cause it’s time to call in the clean-up crew. 

Plus, I promised Mum I wouldn’t mess up her room while she was out. She’s always banging on enough as it is about me leaving Raggedy Doctors lying about. Leaving a dead one on her bed is gonna really wind her up. 

Oh, and I need a new shed. 

‘Hate to leave you Doctor, but I gotta go call some people, let them know the news; Melody Pond just finished off her homework.’ 

‘Is that so?’ 

ohmigodhesstillalive 

‘Because it looks to me like you rushed it.’
…on his feet, so fast. Need to move before - 

ugh 

can’t shift his hand from my throat 

squeezing hard 

hard to breathe... 

while he’s just... 

ranting in my ear... 

‘Here’s a lesson they don’t teach in Home-icidal Economics; tamper with a Time Lord’s food while he’s still regenerating, and the only thing you’re going to waste is good poison.’ 

can’t... 

get.. 

Free! He let me free, just breathe, deep breathes, keep breathing... 

Keep watching. 

Because he’s off again, shouting, smacking his fingers on his skull like... what, some kind of code? A reaction to the poison? A making-me-nervous tic?

 ‘Still. In. My. HEAD!!!’

Or a total insane person.

‘Do you hear them? Hear them beating? The drums, the drums, the constant drums! Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap, tap.’

Gotta say, all I’m hearing right now is the blood rush in my head, still trying to catch my breath. Just shake my head...

‘No? You don’t hear them? What, not a rattle, not a patter, not a single, pounding beat that NEVER ENDS??? Oh, okay. Well... That's awkward. Now you probably think I'm some kind of crazy person.’

Yeah, that’s the impression your fingers left my throat with anyway, you wacko. Hurts to try and speak. Not that he’s gonna stop babbling anytime soon...

‘Wait a minute, though, what am I saying? This isn’t about me. How egotistical am I, banging on about the rhythm, when what we really need to focus on... is the Melody. Because, whoops! She just picked the wrong man to murder...’

Don’t need him getting any closer. Try and talk. Buy some time.

‘Listen, Doctor…’

‘There you go again, getting me all wrong. I'm not the Doctor. Never have been, never will be…’

‘So why'd you pretend…?’

'Cause I'm like you, silly. I like to play with my food. Though who knew a young girl could be so bitter! Honestly, I’m in awe.’

That cloud of dust he just spat, darker stuff than before... like... like poison.

So he wasn’t lying about the still regenerating protecting him. Okay, so better hold fire on plan “B” for a bit. Shame though; I was looking forward to that lipstick seeing some action.

‘So tell me, Melody... You poisoned me. Who poisoned you?’

‘Why should you care?’

‘Oh, I don't. I'm just curious.’

‘Yeah? Well that makes two of us. Who are you?’

‘I'm the question master - and you're avoiding it. Who turned you into a weapon?’

‘You won't have heard of them.’

Kind of true I guess. Not that that’s gonna stop him. He’s getting closer, moving hands towards my head, his voice getting lower, hypnotic...

‘Well, let's find out shall we? Somebody's slipped some ugly thoughts into your pretty little head. I think it's high time I looked into it.’

‘Melody, Melody, Melody...’

whoa.

That was trippy.

Like his fingers didn’t stop, they just went through my temple, touched my brain, unlocked my head space.

I felt him walking inside my mind. I saw him do it. Except...

It didn’t look like him at all. Looked like this little mop-topped kid, out in the snow. Lost and searching for the Doctor...

Snap out of it, idiot. You don’t have snow in your skull, rocks in your brain maybe, but no ice. The cold was him, whipping through your attic, blowing the dust off your recollection collection. Pulling out secrets.

So what do we know?

We know we’re back in the bedroom. We know his hands are off of my head at last. And we know they’re rubbing together with glee.

Which means that he knows...

Everything.

‘“Silence will fall.” I think I want that on a T-shirt.’

Listen to him, taking the bliss out of our credo, laughing it up. So get back in the game Melody. He wants to talk religion? Give him hell.
‘We’re just a joke to you, is that it?’

‘Not at all, I love religious orders! I used to give them all the time...’

‘Oh yeah? You don’t really look like the “dog collar” type.’

‘Oh but I was. I was making Daemons run before you could walk.’

Throwing his hands up to his lips, in mock embarrassment, I can see where this one’s going...

‘Oops. Sorry, Melody... Slip of the tongue, didn’t mean to bring that one up. “Demons Run” though. The infant child, snatched from her parents, right beneath the Doctor’s nose. What a tragic waste of youth...’

‘I’m over it.’

‘That’s not what my taste buds are telling me.’

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